rEminiscence

Actually,this entry is not supposed to be belong here since I'm not the kind of person that loves to express and paints out everything in my little heart into the public.Lately,i have figured out that i am no longer my old me.On contrary to me last time, i was far jovial,outgoing and even hailed the title king of joker.I bet these words already left me apart and empty can be termed in me.Yesterday, i was in OneUtama which has been so stranger to me for almost four or five months.I can't really recall when was my last visit but the memory with this person in this place is freshly lingering in my mind.As we* stopped by there for a cup of Starbucks coffee, my heart suddenly turned sourish and a pang of loneliness has precipitated from all angles from inside out.My mind was very clear and i knew the reason behind this dilemma...i can't deny that i still haven't let go of this person.Having still the cooling aromatic coffee in my hand, i decided to land it down on the table and pushed myself to wander outside that area with a tiny hope that i could meet R.The table outside was standing alone and nobody has occupied it.I quickly took a glimpse on it but unfortunately the image of us happily nesting there has succumbed me from continuing loitering down the road.Being travelling out of the reality and flew to my own fantasy has made myself more vulnerable which is masked by the wide smiles that has been my own trademark.Strangely, i walked away with my heavy heart towards nowhere.The letter R kept on haunting my mind and i can't help it to just simply forgo the existence of R in my life.Within minutes, my mood swing has again consumed my own self and this definitely created a very bad environment around my brother.I'm so sorry and yet he wasn't realized that i was not fine that moment.I can't spill it out to him...i can't turn to anyone in fact.But with you, my dear blog, i have no problem at all expressing all those endless confusions.Reaching home at around 12 in the midnight, i hardly have myself a good sleep and my mind was still as clear as the sky.Clicking through the webs and suddenly this song stumbled across my ears and straightway.i fell in the rhythm.This song actually reminded me of R and it was always on in R's hand phone.No words can describe how i feel now and my heart is an empty box....I miss you....